Acknowledging that others have different assumptions

In my experience, many Christians (myself included) often assume that their listeners share assumptions about the existence and nature of God, and the authority of the Bible. I don't want to fall into those assumptions; I need to remind myself that my friends and acquaintances have diverse theistic, atheistic, agnostic and humanist assumptions. So if I use the word 'God' without explaining what I mean, my listeners may take a very different meaning.

Positively, here is how I think the issues of parenting (which is both my responsibility, and connected to my vocation) open the door for sharing the gospel and respectfully challenging the assumptions of others:

When disciplining a child, every parent knows that something has gone wrong. But many of us have been taught that discipline is simply adjusting the rewards and punishments to manipulate a child's behavior. The thought is that if we sufficiently balance the incentives and consequences, our children's behavior will be effectively modified. But is this a satisfying answer? Do we like it as adults when others try to manipulate our behavior using the carrot and stick? Or do our hearts still yearn to be treated as responsible, moral people who can and should make right decisions? If we simply try to manipulate our children's behavior, will they be left with the same frustration and longing to be treated as responsible human beings? Moreover, how do we decide what is best for our children? How do we know what to encourage, and what to reprove? Ultimately, if our children see that the expectations of them are not rooted in a true vision of the way things really are, they'll see through our hypocrisy and go their own way. We can't simply prop up a set of family ethics that is useful for keeping the peace, but doesn't fit with the world in which we really live.

I believe that the purpose of human existence - which defines what is good and worthy, and what is wrong and shameful - has been revealed in the Bible by the one true God who created all things. This God created humanity for true relatedness to Himself and to one another. In our frequent wrongs, we disfigure those relationships and corrupt our hearts in such a way that we need both forgiveness and help. In the person of Jesus Christ, God has provided forgiveness for those who will trust Him; furthermore, by trusting Jesus, He gives frail, broken people the power to live in restored relationship with Him, and with other people.

As parents, that means that we don't address merely our children's behavior in discipline. We address their hearts, and their relationships. Our discipline must seek to restore the broken relationships through confession, forgiveness, repentance, and when necessary, restitution. It must also address the child's heart that has chosen a wrong and unwise path. In discipline, it is the responsibility of the parents to teach the child to be responsible: to admit what was wrong, to recognize the occasion of their fault, to consider possible wise alternatives, to seek forgiveness from those they have wronged, and to seek help from God in changing.

Parenting provides a unique insight into our own need, and our quest for meaning. It creates the opportunity for us to ask good questions, and to testify to the truth we have experienced.